Chapter Ten

A decade of posts has been reached. I feel like I should party for being able to keep this journal type thing of mine up for so long. It's pretty much a record. Unfortunately there is little time to party.

I'm having to work to maintain my grades.

There are too many majors and not nearly enough time.

I'm still roommate-less and some criticisms that I am getting are not really helping that or my sanity. 

A bus is coming, and I'll certainly find myself awkwardly placed under it. 

So, there goes any idea of a party.

Still, I have my dreams and my silly little hopes. That's enough for me, but it won't carry me. My goodness gracious great balls of fire. 

Chapter Nine

I thought of something I actually have been able to make perfect sense of this morning at approximately 0120, and I'm pretty excited about it. Not because it's profound or anything (trust me, it's not), but it's something I resolutely decided upon without outside bias throwing me about. I was having a debate on facebook, and I noted everything to be derived by circumstance, in itself nothing particularly interesting or new. Pretty lame, actually. But then I was asked to expound upon this, to define it. Well, this is what I came up with in a nutshell (I'll save the meat for my real writing, not this humble blog):
Circumstance comes in four forms:

Spiritual
Emotional
Educational
Relational

K, a quick interjection before I expound upon each of these--I totally did not intend to find an acronym for "seer" as I thought of this in my head, but it was really amazing to find out that it was.

Essentially, these circumstances define what interests us and who we are by that basis. On that level, not a whole not more definition should be necessary.

Spiritual circumstances are those that relate to one's succeptibleness (is this even a word?) to superstition, myth, and most crucially, religion. Tied deeply into this is familial tradition, and this is a key part of what influences character from birth, regardless of whether one is "religious" or not and "superstitious" or not.

Emotional circumstances are those that relate to the figurative "heart." I would like to isolate this, though, as the heart in connection to other hearts. Friends, family, etc...; they all fit here. Being quite self-explanitory in its most basic nature, I shant expound on it any further.

Educational circumstances refer to anything the person in question cares to learn, care obviously being the key word in this. However one learns, schooling or otherwise, learning in of itself is very situational and determines one's interests and cares from a fairly early age outside of spiritual/traditional bounds. Remember that education will always extend beyond the classroom.

Relational circumstances...yes, they have absolutely nothing to do with relationships. Instead, this is centred more on the self, and the selfish nature of man. This covers anything that ties back to the person in question. For instance, silly high school gossip would fit right into this catagory, as it will immediately interest he or she that is the subject of such rumours and quite easily affect their fragile teenage decisions.

Linear Algebra's about to begin. Bai until later.

Chapter Eight

I need a new picture. I can't even remember the details of this one. Maybe I'll use my Facebook one; it looks ever so slightly happier.
More importantly, though, I need to cut my hair for a racquetball tourney on September 27th. I was contemplating wearing a bandana as I was working so wonderfully on growing my hair out, but these plans are simply not practical. So arrivederci to my dreams of long hair resembling that of the lead singer of Journey's.
Now to the meat of life. In a matter of hours I will be back in Mesa and I suppose this is mildly exciting, though the basic facts are that it is largely a "business" trip. i do indeed regret this, but I have no time to waste anymore, and this fact is still slowly sinking into my skin. Life is hard, and for me it has oft been so, but it's imperative to get it right here.
A number of my friends now have scolded me for being "non-commital" to young ladies that apparently display some sort of superficial affection to me, but I am content in remaining this way, for I must first learn to understand them, hopefully respect them, and then, then maybe. Do I "like people?" Sure. But that means absolutely nothing, and beyond the length of this paragraph, it's quite simply another waste.
I had a long argument with my feminist English prof. Now, I certainly have nothing against feminism, but by Jove is this woman absolutely ridiculous. Anyway, the nature of the argument was as such: She believes that man is a hindrance to the growth of society. I challenged this, arguing that the opposite case is true. She freaked out. I calmly responded. She ignored me. I hate to be what they call a "smart-ass," but such emotional and bias teachers are really not even worth talking to anyway.
More so than ever, I would define myself as absurd. It's a lovely role to want to take.
People at University seem to be generally kind, and it's nice. However, there are still those morons who think that spouting off meager attempts at wisecracks is actually a "cool" thing to do. And actually, it may be a cool thing to do; they oft get good reactions for their idiocy in a manner far beyond my own cover thereof, with people not having the adequate mental capacity to recognize the overall want of intelligence and understanding.
Yeah, I'm judging. It's been too long, and I have a plan in the works, I just need to try to get a friend in on it.

Chapter Seven

Would you look at that? A week of college has passed and guess what? What? I feel no different. In fact, life is even more lame than before on many fronts. Sure, I have this abstract notion of freedom, but I've barely been using it. Last night I'm pretty sure I was asleep by 9.
Classes are also much of the same and already vaguely troublesome, and in describing them, I find that it may be fun to use a list format. Hmmm...bullets or numbers...bullets or numbers...

Bullets.

• English 109H: So far all the work we've done in this class is child's play, and I haven't hesitated in informing the instructor of this. So our teacher gave us some "harder" weekend homework. *yawn.*
• Astronomy 206: I swear that our professor is going to keel over and die...he's like 90. He lectures slowly as hell and even more slowly as his aides are constantly fetching him water so that he passes out. Of course he's overwhelmingly knowledgeable, but there should be an age cap for these jobs. Honestly. Furthermore, he has this annoying obsession with making everyone in his class "respectable and well-informed citizens." Tear, tear.
• Math 215: Crazy, crazy teacher. He is actually very thorough, although the manner in which he is so is both funny and just silly, as I tend to feel like a kindergartener in this class.
• Math 223: Totally reminds me of my High School Pre-Calc and Calc teacher. 'Nuff said.
• Phys 251: The professor is pretty much Shiv's dad and the material we're set up to cover is once again pathetic. I retook Electromag because I only got a 4 on the Fizz Electromag and wasn't sure I could perform at the college level, but this is just ridiculous, and I'm surrounded by absolute knuckleheads.

Well, there's my short assessment of my teachers and classes. It's a pain, really. Of course, to answer the question everybody seems to love: Have I been doing the party thing? No. Why? I am 100% averted to such annoying social scenes. Meeting people in college=I don't care. It's now about my edumacation (even though I technically already have a 50% homework grade in English).

My damn advisor decided to revoke his acceptance of me taking over 19 credits. apparently Freshmen aren't allowed to do that and apparently I already was taking too many heavy courses for him to make an exception. Whatev. He said if I could prove that I could handle this semester, he'd still make an exception next semester. I suppose I'll keep my fingers crossed and whatnot.

There's a football game tonight. Steph and Aaron say I should go. I don't think either of them realizes how little spirit I have, and how much of a hassle it will end up being.

Stress metre's on high because of school and work-related matters, but expounding on that's just gonna be more of a downer. No roommate where I'm at yet, either :(.

I love the UA Rec Centre...seriously. Weights+Racquetball all the time=A chance for me to get fit again!

Well, I'll leave it here for now, I suppose. Until the next boring morning, then.

Chapter Six

Well, it's been quite some time since my last post. There are definitely some things to say, as well. First, I moved down to Tuscon. How do I feel about that? Considering the circumstances, very shitty, but elaborating on that any further would make this too whiny for my tastes and I'm gonna go for a different feel with what's to follow.
I've been slacking off with my writing a bit, but that's fundamentally because of the move and consequences thereof. Somewhat relatedly, I got in touch with a friend I always seem to be swinging in and out of motion with, and I suppose quite famously in my little clique. Well, it's a good thing because, while it presents me with some troublesome annoying mental conflicts again, it also gives me the motivation to hit the keyboard and sketch pad again, the ability to take the finishing step on some of my works.
However, that same...friend...has caused my greivance beyond what I would expect of myself. It would seem as though I am constantly feeling something for this lass, and it inhibits me from what would simply be more healthy scenes. Even now. Annoying. Severely so.
Ah, well, right now I honestly have other things to worry about. And more than ever, I need to focus. My energy is currently being way too divided. Totally not cool. Hm, an excess of sentence fragments in here. Very well. Until Monday, Peace, Love, and Acid.

Chapter Five

At least I hope it's five. I'm going to screw that up one of these days. It has been brought to attention that I can be, well, a cold bastard. However, if I was truly such, I ideally wouldn't be writing this blog.
Today my mother, for very understandable reasons, pulled out a bunch of old pictures and such. Needless to say, I have no care for such memories. It's not because I don't care about people, but I have a distaste for keeping most things, regardless of what the subject material may be, of whatever supposed sentimental worth it may carry. My mum reacted very well on the outside to what must've seemed like a complete apathy, but I could tell it bothered her a little. A shame, but nothing to be done about it.
A second reason as to why people might occasionally perceive me as such is because I have a general distaste for humanity, largely stemming out of a distaste for myself. This gets fairly complicated, and I don't understand the logic, or lack thereof, behind it myself, but I will do my best to explain through way of the typed word. I hold the basic belief that people are driven by various sins of selfishness. I hold this belief because, more than in most others that I meet, I see it so evident in my own nature, in the reasons for my own actions. Hm, that last sentence was somewhat choppy. Oh, well. Anywho, I used to get pretty depressed about this. Then there was a phase where I just had idealized goals of self-betterment is some epic sorta way. Now, I realize I've become fairly accepting of it, and apathetic about it, coming to the conclusion that it quite simply can be no other way. I dislike it, and dislike myself as a byproduct thereof, but cannot actively change it. Instead, I merely embrace my moments of altruism as much as possible until I return to being the selfish pig that I am, and becoming part of that same herd I know all humans are fundamentally a part of. By the course fo religion, it would just seem as some pigs get the chance to grow wings and fly out of the muddy pen. Good for them.

Ah, that felt inconclusive, but oh, well, it was destined to be. Maybe later. Maybe not.

Hm, I must depart from this screen for now, but I may come back to edit this with an add or two later.
Big rugby game on tonight.
BIG.

Chapter Four

"Social experiment:" A very fun phrase to be certain. Furthermore, the ideal excuse for most things. Yes, for I am quite fond of "social experiments," those real instances where you purposely try to be awkward and otherwise out of your norm sheerly to test the reactions of those in your audience. I have even taken it to the next step on many instances, following a variety of connected actions through just for a personal laugh, though I try to avoid it being at another's expense. Well, I'm talking about it, because I reckon I'm officially done with them. No more toying with people after...now...as fun as it can be. Okay, so I can't make that promise to myself, because I know it will inevitably happen--but I can at least attempt to limit it. I need a few new fun tricks to rely on.
Thus, I have three new titles for you:
1. As You Are.
2. A Completely Opinionated Complete Society.
3. The Social Experiment.

Ah, my dear works of wonder.
Uni begins soon. Am I frightened? Monetarily, very much so. Otherwise, hellz naw. I'm stoked, G!